


Theology 101

by madamteatime



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: Crack, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-30
Updated: 2012-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-27 02:51:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamteatime/pseuds/madamteatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yunho and Changmin argue religion in creative ways</p>
            </blockquote>





	Theology 101

Changmin hates company parties. They're always incredibly boring and full of too many old people. It reminds him of their rookie days, back when they still had to suck up to those old people in ways that made his skin crawl. He hates the stilted, forced conversations. He really hates having to wear a suit and get all trussed up for something that's not even a public event.  
  
This isn't a company party, but there are enough influential old people in attendance for it to feel like one. It's Siwon's birthday bash, something his parents had thrown and invited all their own friends to because these things are never about the guest of honour as much as they are about showing off to each other. There are a few of Siwon's friends scattered here and there, but they're in the vast minority. Changmin knows Heechul has something more fun planned for later on, but this is something they have to get through first with forced smiles and, thankfully, a lot of champagne. Changmin is not even sure why he's here - he has a vague recollection of Yunho somehow conning him into coming along, and he's always wanted to see the Choi mansion from the inside, but he hadn't counted on how dull the party would be. His present company isn't helping either.  
  
"Changmin, I worry about you," Siwon says, all earnest seriousness. Changmin takes a sip of his drink.  
  
"Oh yeah, why's that?" he asks.  
  
"Your refusal to let our Lord Jesus Christ into your heart is a danger to your immortal soul. As your friend - no, as your brother -"  
  
"You're not my brother."  
  
"Changmin you wound me," Siwon says, sounding hurt.  
  
"It's just basic biology."  
  
"I only have your best interests at heart. There are a couple of verses I could show you -"  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks." Changmin's gaze finds Yunho on the other side of the room and shoots him a long-suffering look.  
  
"If you would only let the Lord's light illuminate your life you would see how much happier you can be. It might even do something for your demeanor," Siwon says just as Yunho materialises at his side, which is lucky for him because Changmin is seriously considering punching him in his handsome, annoying face. Yunho takes hold of Siwon's elbow and steers him away.  
  
"Yeah, okay. He's working on letting the Lord into his heart," Changmin hears him say before he distracts Siwon with a couple of his old family friends.  
  
"No I'm not," Changmin sing-songs when Yunho manages to slip away back to his side. Yunho rolls his eyes and snags a flute of champagne from a passing waiter.  
  
"Just try to indulge him, won't you?" he sighs.  
  
"It's been how many years and he still hasn't realised how much I don't want to hear about his crappy religion," Changmin says.  
  
"Hey, that's my crappy religion too. Show some respect."  
  
Changmin sniggers at this. "Heh. You called your religion crappy."  
  
"I can call it whatever I want. You can't," Yunho says.  
  
"That logic makes no sense. Just like your religion."  
  
"Don't argue theology with me Shim, it'll only end in tears. Mostly yours."  
  
"Please, like you could out-argue me."  
  
"Maybe not, but I could definitely out-punch you."  
  
"That is so typical of you, resorting to physical violence to get your way," Changmin sniffs.  
  
"It's justified since you're such a heathen," Yunho grins.  
  
"Oh and name calling too, that's real classy."  
  
"It's not name calling if it's true," Yunho says, his grin widening. Changmin rolls his eyes, then smirks suddenly as a thought occurs to him.  
  
"If I'm a heathen then so are you," he says.  
  
"How's that?" Yunho frowns.  
  
"Because you're sleeping with me, and there's nothing more hedonistic than that."  
  
Yunho flaps his hands at him in frantic shushing motions. "Keep your voice down, do you want the whole world to hear you?"  
  
"Like it's some big secret," Changmin snorts.  
  
"It is some big secret you dolt. Do you really think we'd be here if Siwon knew?"  
  
"Good point. He'd probably keel over from shock and then we'd be free of him at last." Changmin's face lights up. "Let's go tell him now."  
  
Yunho claps a hand over his mouth and drags him out of the room.  
  
\- - -  
  
They end up wandering through the mansion, glad to escape the stifling party for a while. Siwon's parents adore Yunho so he's been there a number of times before, but it's Changmin's first time and he's awed by the sheer grandeur of everything. He is no stranger to luxury anymore but the Choi mansion is something else altogether.  
  
"Look at this place. My parents' entire house could fit in the ballroom alone," he shakes his head.  
  
"Na, the ballroom is bigger," Yunho grins. They take the elevator up to the third floor and Yunho glances around to make sure it's deserted before pressing Changmin up against the wall and kissing him senseless.  
  
"Just for the record, I don't actually think you're a heathen," he murmurs against Changmin's lips. Changmin stifles a laugh.  
  
"Are you just saying that to get into my pants? Because you know you already have permission to be all up in there."  
  
"No I'm not just saying that to get in your pants," Yunho huffs, but then a sly look crosses his face. "Although, if you insist. . ."  
  
He takes Changmin's hand and pulls him down the hallways, passing ornate mirrors and expensive vases full of fake flowers before pushing open the door to what appears to be a guest bedroom. He pulls Changmin into his arms again and seals their lips together, the door clicking shut behind them.  
  
"Oh Mr Jung, I do believe this is - mm - most inappropriate," Changmin manages in between kisses, unable to stop grinning as Yunho tugs on his tie and suit jacket.  
  
"Don't call me Mr Jung, that's what people call my dad," Yunho laughs, flinging his jacket aside and getting to work on the buttons of Changmin's dress shirt. They fall back on the bed and Changmin rolls them, panting as he straddles Yunho and makes quick work of his impeccable suit.  
  
"What would you prefer then? Mr Yunho? Your Grace? Big Daddy?"  
  
"Big daddy is acceptable I guess," Yunho says. He lifts his hips as Changmin tugs down his pants and underwear.  
  
"Oh sure, pick the kinkiest one. That doesn't have connotations of creepy daddy issues at all."  
  
"You're the one who suggested it." Yunho twists his hips and Changmin tumbles off him with a surprised sound, catching himself before he can faceplant into a pillow. Yunho fumbles in the back pocket of his discarded pants with one hand while the other tugs impatiently at the rest of Changmin's clothes. Changmin is squirming and pushing back against him, making the whole process take much longer than it should.  
  
"For fuck's sake Changmin just lose the pants already," Yunho growls. Changmin laughs and wriggles out of them at last, then turns and pounces on Yunho.  
  
"You know, that is not the way a good Christian should speak," he says, grinding down in a way that makes them both moan.  
  
"Good Christians also wouldn't carry around lube in their back pockets," Yunho says, popping the cap and squirting gel onto his fingers. He rises up on his knees and Changmin straddles him, shuddering as a finger presses slowly into him.  
  
"Ooh you're bad," Changmin moans, his hands clenching on Yunho's shoulders.  
  
"Being good is overrated," Yunho grins, pressing a second finger in and making Changmin yelp and clench around him.  
  
"True - fucking - facts," Changmin pants into his neck, grinding down against Yunho's fingers until he's nice and stretched and Yunho can't wait any longer. He pulls out and slicks himself up, and Changmin reaches back to guide him as he sinks down onto his length.  
  
"I hope you know that you're - ah - going to hell for - hnn - fucking me," Changmin manages. Yunho thrusts all the way into him and he cries out, nails raking down his back.  
  
"What about. . .for loving you?" Yunho pants as they find a rhythm, his hips snapping up as Changmin grinds down to meet him. Changmin makes an ecstatic little sound, partly because of his words and partly because he's just hit that spot that makes him see stars.  
  
"Same deal," he says.  
  
"I guess I'm. . .ok with it then," Yunho says, and Changmin laughs breathlessly.  
  
"All the fun people - ah! - go to hell anyway."  
  
"Between you and me though," Yunho pants. "I'm a dead ringer for heaven."  
  
Changmin can't stop laughing, which is weird because he's also trying to moan at the same time. "I can't believe we're having this conversation right now," he manages to choke out.  
  
"I told you not to argue theology with me," Yunho growls, thrusting faster as Changmin jerks on top of him, lost in heat and pleasure.  
  
"And I told you. . .I could out-argue you," Changmin pants into his neck, barely coherent but still willing to put up a fight.  
  
"You're doing a stellar job of that so far."  
  
"You're cheating!"  
  
"How else am I supposed to win?"  
  
Changmin can't muster a reply, too busy moaning  _yes_  and  _right there_  and  _oh god_ , followed closely by,  _no wait I don't believe in god_ , and Yunho laughs so hard at that he loses their rhythm entirely and falls over. They roll and Changmin pins him down on his back.  
  
"Fuck you Jung, I was so close!"  
  
Yunho is still laughing. "That's not the endearment we agreed on," he gasps. Pure, devilish intent lights Changmin's eyes and he slides all over Yunho's body, rubbing against him in a way that's entirely obscene.  
  
"Ooh big daddy, fuck me, fuck me hard, make me come - "  
  
Yunho flips him over and Changmin squeals, though later he would vehemently deny making such an unmanly sound. He cries out as Yunho pushes back into him, hands clenching in the duvet as he starts a hard, fast pace. A slew of pleas and curses fall off Changmin's lips and morph into a desperate repetition of Yunho's name, over and over until he throws his head back and comes with a loud moan. Yunho bites down on his shoulder to muffle his cry as Changmin clenches around him. A second later he follows him over the edge, filling Changmin as they both shudder and writhe and shatter together.  
  
Sweat is starting to cool on their bodies before Yunho rolls off Changmin, drawing a groan at the separation from both of them. Changmin turns over and burrows into Yunho's arms, kissing and licking at the hollow of his throat.  
  
"Just for the record, I don't think you're going to hell," he murmurs against Yunho's skin. "You're too good for that."  
  
Yunho's arms tighten around him. "I promise to beg them to let you into heaven with me."  
  
"How nice of you to be worried about my immortal soul."  
  
"Not half as worried as Siwon."  
  
Changmin muffles his laughter in Yunho's shoulder. "I can't believe we just did it in one of his guest rooms."  
  
"Oh my god."  
  
"Oh your god," Changmin agrees, and helpless laughter takes them both until they hear a voice calling from far off.  
  
"Yunho? Changmin?" Siwon sounds worried.  
  
"Shit!"  
  
They leap off the bed and start pulling their clothes back on. Changmin can't stop giggling, even though the possibility of being discovered terrifies him, and Yunho whacks him until he whacks back, although it's weak because he's so busy laughing. They fight each other for the mirror as they straighten their clothes and fix their hair, and then Yunho yanks the door open and pushes Changmin out into the hallway. Siwon rounds the corner just as he emerges himself and closes the door behind him.  
  
"There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" Siwon says.  
  
"Sorry - I was giving Changmin a tour of the house," Yunho says, smoothly stepping on Changmin's foot as his shoulders quiver in a way that suggests he's about to start laughing again.  
  
"Come on, they're asking for you downstairs. We're about to cut the cake and there's some dignitary from India who's a fan of yours," Siwon says. They follow him down the hall, fixing each other's appearance surreptitiously. Changmin is just adjusting Yunho's collar when Siwon glances back at them.  
  
"Are you okay Changmin? You look kinda flushed," he says. Changmin coughs and drops his hands quickly.  
  
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine," he says. When Siwon continues to look concerned, he sighs and steels himself. "So, about those verses you wanted me to read. . ."  
  
Siwon's face lights up, and he's immediately so absorbed in his spiel that he doesn't hear Yunho's soft snigger or the middle finger Changmin gives him behind his back in reply.  
  
  
  



End file.
